I entered middle school as an insecure, but loud-mouthed 6th grader. I hardly knew anyone, until I went out on a limb and went to a drama club meeting, already aware that I had no friends from my old school who were going. Attending that meeting might have been the best decision of those 3 years. The people I met through clubs I joined changed me so much as a person.
Drama club made me feel like I was really a part of something special. I would be feeling left out one day, then I would come to drama club. I was surrounded by people that were like me —people that actually wanted to hear what I had to say and liked who I was. I learned to be fearless speaking in front of people and to be proud of who I am, no matter where I go.
Choir taught me to love making music, and that I'm my own worst critic. I learned so much about working together for something larger, I also learned how to go about different styles of singing, and the difference between singing by alone and singing with a group. Even though I was only involved for a year, I gained so much more than I thought.
It's the most amazing thing to see people that come from all different backgrounds to join together and make something incredible out of hardly anything. By the end of the year, every student involved felt special. Both of these activities made me feel wanted, like I could really make a difference, and because of that I gained a lot of self esteem that I still carry with me. Because of its effect on kids, art unites what is usually a very divided and cliquey middle school.
I know that are always going to be kids that were like me, unsure and insecure, that are going to come into middle school more or less alone. It would break my heart if people like me didn't have those teachers and classes to help them with self esteem and confidence. Without the drama class, there's no teacher to run the drama club. Without choir and drama as separate classes, someone like me would have nowhere to turn to. Is the solution really a "musical theater" class? What's going to happen to my 12 year old brother, who wants to try acting, but hates singing?
My middle school's arts program changed me in a way that I am still grateful for, even in high school. I don't know who I would be without them. Sometimes, drama club and choir were the only two reasons I got out of bed in the morning for school. If the drama and music program merge, and the clubs are gone, I wonder how thats going to hurt my little brother.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, and a realization. Ohm...
Yesterday I was supposed to hang with Priya, Jeremy, David, and Roly to play D&D.
10-12, then rehearsal, then Cocomero with Emma, Mir, and Jeremy.
What actually happened is as follows.
I set my alarm for 8am but fell back to sleep, because NPR does not wake me up very well on a weekend, and then I blinked and it was 10:15, and Joey was at my door telling me that someone was waiting outside for me.
I literally threw stuff on, and then ran out and apologized for being late.
Roly couldn't make it, which is whatever. I'm not really sure what to make of him anyway.
I stayed at Priya's building a gnome rogue (squee!) until about 12:30, then went back home to grab stuff for rehearsal.
I couldn't find my freaking script, so I grabbed a pair of shorts and my phone then ran out the door.
Rehearsal went until 6. Sadness, kinda.
I really like the dances for this show. I think I'm getting better at dancing, plus the dance thus far for Mr.Cladwell is super easy.
Except there is going to be a lot of spinning at the start, which we havent learned yet. I'm really bad at spinning. Or being graceful in general with movement.
Theres a bit where we dance with clipboards, and we toss them...I cut myself right on the inside of my left wrist during the toss, and now it looks like I'm emo, because its right next to a big vein. It's just a scratch, but it looks ugly.
I had to cancel Cocomero due to a lack of time, funds, and transportation. There's talk of a movie on Thursday, but I'm not counting on it.
I came home and some old neighbors, who are in town from washington state, came over. It was nice seeing them again, especially now that the difference between Hannah and I is less. She's a senior this year. Its interesting because we seem a lot less distant in maturity now. Ish.
-sigh-
I went into a bit of a panic attack. I had promised myself to avoid negative energy, and I broke that promise. I'm more upset with myself than anything. I suppose that was the idea.
I came to a realization though. I've been trying to make lessons, strategies in which to live by, but life is simple. Teenagers, especially girls, overlook that. They contradict themselves, and make exceptions and little seperate clauses for different scenarios.
But whether these girls like it or not, life is simpler than that.
Do what makes you happiest. Its worth it.
Treat everyone with kindness and respect, regardless of who they are or how they treat you. A person is a person, no matter how small. Or mean. Or ugly. Ha. Irony...
Stand up for what you believe in, but do it with pride and kindess in your heart. If you don't, who will?
Cheesy?
In all seriousness, though, I think theses "rules" are in back of people's minds, but only in effect when they want them to be. Not all the time as intended.
I feel enlightened somehow. O.o
Probably not. I think my brain just imploded a little.
Hasta.
10-12, then rehearsal, then Cocomero with Emma, Mir, and Jeremy.
What actually happened is as follows.
I set my alarm for 8am but fell back to sleep, because NPR does not wake me up very well on a weekend, and then I blinked and it was 10:15, and Joey was at my door telling me that someone was waiting outside for me.
I literally threw stuff on, and then ran out and apologized for being late.
Roly couldn't make it, which is whatever. I'm not really sure what to make of him anyway.
I stayed at Priya's building a gnome rogue (squee!) until about 12:30, then went back home to grab stuff for rehearsal.
I couldn't find my freaking script, so I grabbed a pair of shorts and my phone then ran out the door.
Rehearsal went until 6. Sadness, kinda.
I really like the dances for this show. I think I'm getting better at dancing, plus the dance thus far for Mr.Cladwell is super easy.
Except there is going to be a lot of spinning at the start, which we havent learned yet. I'm really bad at spinning. Or being graceful in general with movement.
Theres a bit where we dance with clipboards, and we toss them...I cut myself right on the inside of my left wrist during the toss, and now it looks like I'm emo, because its right next to a big vein. It's just a scratch, but it looks ugly.
I had to cancel Cocomero due to a lack of time, funds, and transportation. There's talk of a movie on Thursday, but I'm not counting on it.
I came home and some old neighbors, who are in town from washington state, came over. It was nice seeing them again, especially now that the difference between Hannah and I is less. She's a senior this year. Its interesting because we seem a lot less distant in maturity now. Ish.
-sigh-
I went into a bit of a panic attack. I had promised myself to avoid negative energy, and I broke that promise. I'm more upset with myself than anything. I suppose that was the idea.
I came to a realization though. I've been trying to make lessons, strategies in which to live by, but life is simple. Teenagers, especially girls, overlook that. They contradict themselves, and make exceptions and little seperate clauses for different scenarios.
But whether these girls like it or not, life is simpler than that.
Do what makes you happiest. Its worth it.
Treat everyone with kindness and respect, regardless of who they are or how they treat you. A person is a person, no matter how small. Or mean. Or ugly. Ha. Irony...
Stand up for what you believe in, but do it with pride and kindess in your heart. If you don't, who will?
Cheesy?
In all seriousness, though, I think theses "rules" are in back of people's minds, but only in effect when they want them to be. Not all the time as intended.
I feel enlightened somehow. O.o
Probably not. I think my brain just imploded a little.
Hasta.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
My Weekend At A Glance.
Drop Dead Diva: a courtroom drama about a ditzy model who is killed by a grapefruit truck and then gets reincarnated into the body of a fat lawyer 8 years older than she is.
I don't know if I love it or hate it, but its like Ugly Betty with a focus mostly on body image, instead of racial profiling or whatever. I've been watching since Friday.
Alice opened and closed fairly well. The cast party at Fridays was decent. I felt wanted, which is a rarity. After the saturday night show I whored around downtown with Jeremy, Miranda, and Emma. Which was awesome. Today, of course, I had sunday school.
Mas o menos, I had to write this purim play for the littluns by myself for two reasons:
1. Roo, the person who had written the other half it, was gone for god who knows why.
2. the group I was with were chatting and being irrelevant the entire time
So of course, as always in situations such as this, I'm stuck doing everything.
After sunday school I went to Stephanie's office and asked about electives for next semester.
She put me in the ones she wanted. Not me. Thats why I got stuck being part of the inefficient and poorly executed plan to improve the music program.
The problem is that the music isn't fun anymore.
The board is convinced that this can be solved via the younger end of the congregation.
Namely, the hebrew high class. Myself included.
Most of the people that come to the services are not my age. They need to get the people that actually go to the services interested. Plain and simple.
In other words, the old jews are going to have to like what goes on, too. Not just the group of teenagers that are uberly self conscious around adults. Thats not going to work. Sorry.
So now she puts me in this new innovative photography class. Something about posed photos that portray people. It's taught by the guy that called me "Princess" until I was 13.
His daughter does makeup for a lot of shows at school. It's not like I have anything against him. I swear.
The course just sounds sort of bogus.
I cannot wait until I'm confirmed and done with this stupidity. Honestly.
Anyway, after that disaster, I went striaght to the matinee, which went well. I came home and I just finished season 1 of Drop Dead Diva.
Aka, I was a lazy bum from 5:10pm until 12:10am- the current time.
I have a busy Monday. Gaming and rehearsal. I'll get to that tomorrow.
That being said, hasta.
Friday, February 18, 2011
You're outvoted, you're demoted, its time to take the scepter away.
Billy Reid makes me so happy. I'm not really sure why. He's really not that great without his videos.
Alice opens tonight. Emma is in town. And damnit, I'm actually going to see her this time. She's coming to the show on Saturday and maybe Sunday.
I need to maintain my own happiness more. And to do that, I think there are a few things I need. That being said, I'm making a list so I know exactly what I need to improve the world.
A really, really good camera
A tablet
Clothes. Oy vey.
Actual nails. So I need to stop biting them.
A clean room.......really. Its a pit.
Thats all I can think of now. Its not that buying stuff is going to just BAM make me happy, but it will certainly help me maintain sanity for the rest of the term. Some of the people here get on my nerves all too fast.
I might move to DC. I'd actually be okay with that. DC is so much more diverse than Chambana, so much more accepting of the interesting.
Girl drama I had going on back home just seemed so dumb next to all of those big buildings. As in people actually making a difference, be it positive or negative, not just skinny whores whispering about how to turn someone they just don't happen to like into a laughingstock.
High school is just a whole different dimension. In the real world, no one gives you crap if you're a virgin, or if you choose to spend your saturday nights playing Settlers Of Cataan, or whatever. With that in mind, I think I can survive and generally be pretty happy long term, but I can't wait until it's over.
Alice opens tonight. Emma is in town. And damnit, I'm actually going to see her this time. She's coming to the show on Saturday and maybe Sunday.
I need to maintain my own happiness more. And to do that, I think there are a few things I need. That being said, I'm making a list so I know exactly what I need to improve the world.
A really, really good camera
A tablet
Clothes. Oy vey.
Actual nails. So I need to stop biting them.
A clean room.......really. Its a pit.
Thats all I can think of now. Its not that buying stuff is going to just BAM make me happy, but it will certainly help me maintain sanity for the rest of the term. Some of the people here get on my nerves all too fast.
I might move to DC. I'd actually be okay with that. DC is so much more diverse than Chambana, so much more accepting of the interesting.
Girl drama I had going on back home just seemed so dumb next to all of those big buildings. As in people actually making a difference, be it positive or negative, not just skinny whores whispering about how to turn someone they just don't happen to like into a laughingstock.
High school is just a whole different dimension. In the real world, no one gives you crap if you're a virgin, or if you choose to spend your saturday nights playing Settlers Of Cataan, or whatever. With that in mind, I think I can survive and generally be pretty happy long term, but I can't wait until it's over.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Two posts in a day. Whatcha gonna do? Huh?
I'm not going to the Band Geek's show. Goodwill/costume shopping is waiting untill tomorrow after rehearsal. I have such a busy night planned on saturday: rehearsal, goodwill, and roughly an hour to get ready for the dance at 8 or 9ish, and that ends at 11-unless something happens with my date/the group of people we're going with.
Right now, I'm at Ruth's place. My favorite hoodie that I basically live in is missing and I feel kind of naked without it right now. I swear to god her house absorbs important stuff if I leave it there. I'm going to get pissed if it's gone for a long time. That jacket is kind of important for school, because I have a lot of morning classes by the window. And Coach Jefforson NEVER lets you move seats. Ever.
I've missed Roo. I vented to her about Alex. I really needed to tell her. She cares about me enough to be frank when I need it in moments like this. She's so skepitical about the whole thing. I love her, but god damnit, I can take care of this. I know how to go about school dances now.
Plus the ones at Uni are so insanely chill. I know everyone worth talking to. A bunch of Starkids said they were going. It won't be awkward. It won't. Compared to homecoming, nothing is awkward.
We won't be by ourselves at Minneci's, eating crutons.
-shudder-
I just really hope I can get the album from whoever is going to be selling them at school. Eva said in Art that it sounds good.
Speaking of which. First semester, I took Cultural Arts, which was so freaking stupid and easy. The only reason the course title sounds so sophisticated is because colleges aren't going to take it seriously if they know what the class really is.
YOU MAKE FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS. FOR A FREAKING GRADE.
Even the art teacher calls it her "crafts class". Yup. Like Crafts time. Like what I used to do by myself in the playroom when I was little.
The class sucked. The kids in it were stupid and took it as a blow off class. I don't think my counselor even knew that I actually know how to do most of the stuff in a "craft class".
So now I'm in Art Survey 1 for second. Its basically an overview of a bunch of different tecniques,and the people in the class actually want to be there, or at least nice people, anyway. Right now we're doing a demension and line study where we draw these white wooden cylinders that she arranges on a table in the middle of the room. I've seen drawings from last semester and I saw the figures every day during Cultural arts, so I know there's a sphere, a cone, and a few other things.
Its great drawing practice. I've really liked being in this class so far because I get a lot of compliments from people around me. Eva sometimes looks over my shoulder and watches me draw and oohs and aahs over it. Its really good for my little bitty artistic self esteem, plus I'm getting some awesome realism practice with shading and drawing from a reference.
Finally. A class I actually am doing something useful in. I love the art teacher anyway. She carries most of the arts program by herself, except for I think maybe 2 art classes? Nuts. She's such a good person. I think she's more observant and knowledgable than I think. If I'm ever an art teacher, I want to be just as enthusiatic and kooky. She gives this pride and confidence to everyone who tries. She pushes people to do thier best. I love that.
-warm fuzzies-
Ruth just got home from her horseback riding lesson. Plus I'm about to go into my Mr. Fones stupid touch typing method mode. Which gets trippy.
Hasta.
Right now, I'm at Ruth's place. My favorite hoodie that I basically live in is missing and I feel kind of naked without it right now. I swear to god her house absorbs important stuff if I leave it there. I'm going to get pissed if it's gone for a long time. That jacket is kind of important for school, because I have a lot of morning classes by the window. And Coach Jefforson NEVER lets you move seats. Ever.
I've missed Roo. I vented to her about Alex. I really needed to tell her. She cares about me enough to be frank when I need it in moments like this. She's so skepitical about the whole thing. I love her, but god damnit, I can take care of this. I know how to go about school dances now.
Plus the ones at Uni are so insanely chill. I know everyone worth talking to. A bunch of Starkids said they were going. It won't be awkward. It won't. Compared to homecoming, nothing is awkward.
We won't be by ourselves at Minneci's, eating crutons.
-shudder-
I just really hope I can get the album from whoever is going to be selling them at school. Eva said in Art that it sounds good.
Speaking of which. First semester, I took Cultural Arts, which was so freaking stupid and easy. The only reason the course title sounds so sophisticated is because colleges aren't going to take it seriously if they know what the class really is.
YOU MAKE FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS. FOR A FREAKING GRADE.
Even the art teacher calls it her "crafts class". Yup. Like Crafts time. Like what I used to do by myself in the playroom when I was little.
The class sucked. The kids in it were stupid and took it as a blow off class. I don't think my counselor even knew that I actually know how to do most of the stuff in a "craft class".
So now I'm in Art Survey 1 for second. Its basically an overview of a bunch of different tecniques,and the people in the class actually want to be there, or at least nice people, anyway. Right now we're doing a demension and line study where we draw these white wooden cylinders that she arranges on a table in the middle of the room. I've seen drawings from last semester and I saw the figures every day during Cultural arts, so I know there's a sphere, a cone, and a few other things.
Its great drawing practice. I've really liked being in this class so far because I get a lot of compliments from people around me. Eva sometimes looks over my shoulder and watches me draw and oohs and aahs over it. Its really good for my little bitty artistic self esteem, plus I'm getting some awesome realism practice with shading and drawing from a reference.
Finally. A class I actually am doing something useful in. I love the art teacher anyway. She carries most of the arts program by herself, except for I think maybe 2 art classes? Nuts. She's such a good person. I think she's more observant and knowledgable than I think. If I'm ever an art teacher, I want to be just as enthusiatic and kooky. She gives this pride and confidence to everyone who tries. She pushes people to do thier best. I love that.
-warm fuzzies-
Ruth just got home from her horseback riding lesson. Plus I'm about to go into my Mr. Fones stupid touch typing method mode. Which gets trippy.
Hasta.
Tafetta, darling. Tafetta.
*elbow handshake*
So today I have 4 tests, no rehearsal, little sleep, and possible a Band Geeks show for their new album. I'm really excited, but I might not be able to go. Parental unit is visiting Lauren in Chicago and I'm staying at Ruth's overnight.
Two of the people in the Band Geeks are also in Urinetown with me, so I can still get the album, but it's always awesome seeing them live. In terms of personality, they're like Moxy Frouvos. The Band Geeks kind of joke around between songs, and it gets this great energy going in the audience. That's something thats really unique to them in contrast to other bands. Come to think of it, I don't think I would like Moxy Frouvos as much if they didn't have banter with the audience on thier live tracks. They're kind of too folky for me.
That was a lousy comparison and a waste of ramble. But the point is that I really, really want to see The Band Geeks live because its going to be amazing to watch.
The other option, of course, is to go to goodwill and get costume pieces. I need a skirt and apron, plus I need to get t shirts for me and maia for Starship next week.
I still can't believe I'm going to see it live. I'm still going to watch it when it premiers on Youtube, but in my head its this giant fangirl moment. I'm going to get to be in the same theater as Joey Richter, Lauren Lopez, Brian Rosenthal-people I've admired since before AVPM went viral.
-squeal-
Hasta.
So today I have 4 tests, no rehearsal, little sleep, and possible a Band Geeks show for their new album. I'm really excited, but I might not be able to go. Parental unit is visiting Lauren in Chicago and I'm staying at Ruth's overnight.
Two of the people in the Band Geeks are also in Urinetown with me, so I can still get the album, but it's always awesome seeing them live. In terms of personality, they're like Moxy Frouvos. The Band Geeks kind of joke around between songs, and it gets this great energy going in the audience. That's something thats really unique to them in contrast to other bands. Come to think of it, I don't think I would like Moxy Frouvos as much if they didn't have banter with the audience on thier live tracks. They're kind of too folky for me.
That was a lousy comparison and a waste of ramble. But the point is that I really, really want to see The Band Geeks live because its going to be amazing to watch.
The other option, of course, is to go to goodwill and get costume pieces. I need a skirt and apron, plus I need to get t shirts for me and maia for Starship next week.
I still can't believe I'm going to see it live. I'm still going to watch it when it premiers on Youtube, but in my head its this giant fangirl moment. I'm going to get to be in the same theater as Joey Richter, Lauren Lopez, Brian Rosenthal-people I've admired since before AVPM went viral.
-squeal-
Hasta.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Don't You Trouble Your Pretty Head.
The title is from Sex by the Pipettes. It's stuck in my head. Don't judge.
I'm not really sure why its called Sex....but the lyrics are kinda cute.
Anyway, something happened last night that makes my last post kind of ironic.
I was creeping on facebook, minding my own business, and then Alex chats me. I haven't seen them since StudProd. They're a creeper too, and so they know about my all that good stuff only a true creep would know....
I know a shit ton of people at Uni. I went to their homecoming with Ruth. She tells me there are rumors swimming arounf about me just because I was there. I don't really care, I looked hotter there than I did at UHS, plus I actually knew what I was doing.
So anyway, Alex asked me to the dance. As more than friends. Alex said that they liked me for a little bit after Cameron's party. We were kinda flirting with each other, so I wouldn't be suprised. I told Alex I had a bit of a crush for a while too, and still sort of do.
I mean, this is so amazing, cause if it happens, Alex would be my first everything. <3
The only problem?
Alex has a girlfriend. She's really pretty, too.
Apparently this girl has gotten asked to cheat on Alex by guys...and Alex knows about it.
Damnit, why do all the crumbs of hope have girlfriends already?
Alice is coming together, but it's still kind of rough around the edges. Urinetown just started and the music is awesome, but the alto part is either too high for my life or really hard. Or both. And the girl part in Mr. Cladwell? While I'm next to two incredible lead sopranos? Fuggeddaboudit.
>.<
And I still need to go to goodwill and get costume pieces. Once again, I'm not incredibly happy with my costume. Its better than hairspray, anyway, and much more flattering, but I'm sick of looking frumpy on stage.
Theater makes me feel beautiful. Graceful. Feminine. Even when I do play frumpy characters, usually...
I think its the laughter and applause I get. I didn't feel elegant or graceful or anything when I was Director, but I felt good about myself. I said about a year ago that when I act, I feel like a different person hiding behind the charachter. Its hard to explain now...
Now I'm not so sure anymore. I hate being chorus. I hate just being in the background, pretending to be interested in dialogue that I KNOW I could do 5 times better. I hate feeling insignificant and frumpy. I miss CPD, where they actually know I'm talented and actually try to push me a little bit. I'm so happy to be doing stuff that bitch hipster isn't in over the summer. I'm actually debating auditioning for Parkland's spring show, because they need kids this time, but I worry I won't have time. Alice opens next week but that means Urinetown is going to rule my life. I don't even have lines!
I love that ranting here makes me feel better. Its like the blogosphere is the only place where I can talk about whatever the fuck I want and no one can do anything about it.
That's all I got today. Hasta.
I'm not really sure why its called Sex....but the lyrics are kinda cute.
Anyway, something happened last night that makes my last post kind of ironic.
I was creeping on facebook, minding my own business, and then Alex chats me. I haven't seen them since StudProd. They're a creeper too, and so they know about my all that good stuff only a true creep would know....
I know a shit ton of people at Uni. I went to their homecoming with Ruth. She tells me there are rumors swimming arounf about me just because I was there. I don't really care, I looked hotter there than I did at UHS, plus I actually knew what I was doing.
So anyway, Alex asked me to the dance. As more than friends. Alex said that they liked me for a little bit after Cameron's party. We were kinda flirting with each other, so I wouldn't be suprised. I told Alex I had a bit of a crush for a while too, and still sort of do.
I mean, this is so amazing, cause if it happens, Alex would be my first everything. <3
The only problem?
Alex has a girlfriend. She's really pretty, too.
Apparently this girl has gotten asked to cheat on Alex by guys...and Alex knows about it.
Damnit, why do all the crumbs of hope have girlfriends already?
Alice is coming together, but it's still kind of rough around the edges. Urinetown just started and the music is awesome, but the alto part is either too high for my life or really hard. Or both. And the girl part in Mr. Cladwell? While I'm next to two incredible lead sopranos? Fuggeddaboudit.
>.<
And I still need to go to goodwill and get costume pieces. Once again, I'm not incredibly happy with my costume. Its better than hairspray, anyway, and much more flattering, but I'm sick of looking frumpy on stage.
Theater makes me feel beautiful. Graceful. Feminine. Even when I do play frumpy characters, usually...
I think its the laughter and applause I get. I didn't feel elegant or graceful or anything when I was Director, but I felt good about myself. I said about a year ago that when I act, I feel like a different person hiding behind the charachter. Its hard to explain now...
Now I'm not so sure anymore. I hate being chorus. I hate just being in the background, pretending to be interested in dialogue that I KNOW I could do 5 times better. I hate feeling insignificant and frumpy. I miss CPD, where they actually know I'm talented and actually try to push me a little bit. I'm so happy to be doing stuff that bitch hipster isn't in over the summer. I'm actually debating auditioning for Parkland's spring show, because they need kids this time, but I worry I won't have time. Alice opens next week but that means Urinetown is going to rule my life. I don't even have lines!
I love that ranting here makes me feel better. Its like the blogosphere is the only place where I can talk about whatever the fuck I want and no one can do anything about it.
That's all I got today. Hasta.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Of Love, Aspergers, and Wild Assholes
Just from wanting her memories in writing
A story her folks can be told
A person
Can develop a bad,
Bad,
Cold
I feel like I've quoted that song in this blog before. Ah well.
Valentines day is just around the corner. Usually, I couldn't care less-I'm okay with being single, anyway.
My mom makes heart shaped pancakes, which is cheesy, but they're really good.
But last year, I was well aware of how stupid middle school relationships are.
The thing is, relationships are actually serious in high school. Suprise, suprise.
That being said, its going to be so insanely pathetic when I'm single and alone, for the five millionth time, when everyone else is all cutesy and sappy with thier significant other.
On top of all that, I don't even know who I'm going with to Vice Versa. After the shit boat of my homecoming experience, I don't know if its worth the awkwardness.
But for the most part, the guys at my high school are such blockheads that its kind of pointless to try to search out someone to ask. They're all stupid, ugly, ignorant, or a combination of the 3.
I'm not looking for a prince charming. I swear. But it'd be interesting to actually experience something. I've never even kissed anyone! It's pathetic. Honestly, though, I'll probably just go with friends. And Valentines Day? Lets call it singles appreciation day, pop in a really bad chick flick and dance around in a hot dress by myself. Problem: (sort of) solved.
I came across this book recently- something about social habits. It's aimed at people with social disorders. I don't think Max has anything serious. He's not that awkward.
At any rate, I decided to pick it up and see if its useful in any regard to someone who hasn't tested as someone with Aspergers or whatever.
For the most part, the book breaks down our society's social expectations into simple, logical terms. It stresses the idea that in order to properly function as a human being, you need to be able to act appropriately about other people. It seems very pro-status quo, which is to say that it indicates that you should always care what people think about you.
No matter what this book recognizes or doesn't, to some extent, its just healthy not to care what people think of you. The big thing is that people are not always going to like you. Girls are assholes. Boys are assholes. Regardless of social rules, there will always be people who aren't interested in being friends with you, no matter what your behavioral habits are.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't care what people think about you, period, but to some extent its good to ignore the common wild asshole in its natural habitat.
I'll admit, I did learn something from the book. I really need to be aware of other people while I'm interacting with them. I talk too much, often about stuff that is irrelavent, annoying, or uninteresting. With that idea in mind, and the fact that, to a degree, other people are unaware of the unspoken social rules that I expect them to know. Other people might expect me to keep my damn mouth shut. Its simply the primative result of evolution that when someone does something unexpected, it makes people uncomftorble. (the book uses "they are uncomftorble" as a synonym for "they aren't going to like you". I loled.)
You know what? There's an asshole right next to me who is talking about absolutely nothing. I'm confusing myself listening to him jabber and trying to type at the same time. Fuck it.
That being said, hasta.
A story her folks can be told
A person
Can develop a bad,
Bad,
Cold
I feel like I've quoted that song in this blog before. Ah well.
Valentines day is just around the corner. Usually, I couldn't care less-I'm okay with being single, anyway.
My mom makes heart shaped pancakes, which is cheesy, but they're really good.
But last year, I was well aware of how stupid middle school relationships are.
The thing is, relationships are actually serious in high school. Suprise, suprise.
That being said, its going to be so insanely pathetic when I'm single and alone, for the five millionth time, when everyone else is all cutesy and sappy with thier significant other.
On top of all that, I don't even know who I'm going with to Vice Versa. After the shit boat of my homecoming experience, I don't know if its worth the awkwardness.
But for the most part, the guys at my high school are such blockheads that its kind of pointless to try to search out someone to ask. They're all stupid, ugly, ignorant, or a combination of the 3.
I'm not looking for a prince charming. I swear. But it'd be interesting to actually experience something. I've never even kissed anyone! It's pathetic. Honestly, though, I'll probably just go with friends. And Valentines Day? Lets call it singles appreciation day, pop in a really bad chick flick and dance around in a hot dress by myself. Problem: (sort of) solved.
I came across this book recently- something about social habits. It's aimed at people with social disorders. I don't think Max has anything serious. He's not that awkward.
At any rate, I decided to pick it up and see if its useful in any regard to someone who hasn't tested as someone with Aspergers or whatever.
For the most part, the book breaks down our society's social expectations into simple, logical terms. It stresses the idea that in order to properly function as a human being, you need to be able to act appropriately about other people. It seems very pro-status quo, which is to say that it indicates that you should always care what people think about you.
No matter what this book recognizes or doesn't, to some extent, its just healthy not to care what people think of you. The big thing is that people are not always going to like you. Girls are assholes. Boys are assholes. Regardless of social rules, there will always be people who aren't interested in being friends with you, no matter what your behavioral habits are.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't care what people think about you, period, but to some extent its good to ignore the common wild asshole in its natural habitat.
I'll admit, I did learn something from the book. I really need to be aware of other people while I'm interacting with them. I talk too much, often about stuff that is irrelavent, annoying, or uninteresting. With that idea in mind, and the fact that, to a degree, other people are unaware of the unspoken social rules that I expect them to know. Other people might expect me to keep my damn mouth shut. Its simply the primative result of evolution that when someone does something unexpected, it makes people uncomftorble. (the book uses "they are uncomftorble" as a synonym for "they aren't going to like you". I loled.)
You know what? There's an asshole right next to me who is talking about absolutely nothing. I'm confusing myself listening to him jabber and trying to type at the same time. Fuck it.
That being said, hasta.
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