"How Do You Feel Today?"

While cleaning out my backpack, I discovered this album, which was being handed out for free at a cd store downtown when I was there after school one day. I actually listened to it, and I'm not totally sure what to make of it. All the tracks kind of sounded the same. I mean, all of the them are interesting pieces of electronica, but are all comprised of the same sounds and had the same feel to all of them. I don't know if its boring or brilliant. I think when I'm doing homework or something, I'll listen to it all over again and re-evaluate it.

But that won't be for a while. It's spring break. 

I'm heading to New York in a few days with the drama club.

I guess I'm excited. I don't really know anymore.

It's funny. In my last post, I mentioned self  respect, but I'm not sure I can really get my self confidence back anymore. 

Lately, I've just felt a lot of angst that's hard to get over. I've been feeling really alone and unappreciated. At school, no one wants to talk to me or is interested in how I'm doing. I don't belong there. It's mostly in the theater community.

I've tried so hard to stay positive and to seek people out. I guess I'm just a tag along. No one wants me around. At all. I feel so distant from everyone.  Everyone is already in their own little circles and I'm just sort of there. I don't belong in any of them.

I have the feeling that NYC is just going to be a whirlpool of all of that. Everyone else talking together and laughing  and having a time, and then there will be me in the back, alone, with no one to talk to. Because really, who would want to talk to obnoxious, boring freshman Molly?

At least I might be gone soon. DC will be a great way to start over. I just worry I'll have trouble finding somewhere to settle there.

I needed this rant. It's sad I can't talk to anyone else about this sort of thing. 

Hopefully, New York won't be how I'm predicting. Maybe there are friends going that I'm not thinking of right now. My angst is confused.

Hasta.